The Inner Spark: A Gentle Introduction to IFS and Inner Parts
IFS Concept – We all have parts and a Self
Have you ever felt an inner conflict—as if part of you wanted to move forward while another part held you back?
Internal Family Systems (IFS), a psychotherapy model developed by Richard Schwartz, offers a powerful way to understand these internal dynamics. It teaches us that our psyche is made up of parts, each with a role, as well as a central Self, capable of bringing balance and healing.
The different types of shares
The IFS distinguishes between three main categories of shares:
The Exiles
These are the most vulnerable parts. They bear the wounds of painful experiences and often contain shame, fear, sadness, or loneliness. Because their suffering can be intense, the rest of the system frequently seeks to keep them at a distance.
Managers
These parts are proactive. Their mission is to maintain control and security by preventing the pain of exiles from being reactivated. They influence our behavior by pushing us to perform, succeed, organize ourselves, or stabilize our relationships. Their intention is to avoid risk and preserve order.
Firefighters
These parts are reactive. They kick in when the exiles' pain flares up. Their goal is to quickly extinguish the "emotional fire," often through distraction or numbing strategies: overeating, overworking, binge-watching, or resorting to addictive behaviors. Even though their methods can be costly, their intention is protective.
Proactive and reactive roles
Managers act proactively to prevent suffering.
Firefighters intervene in emergencies when this suffering breaks through the defenses.
Together, they form a protective shield around the exiled parts.
Polarized shares
Sometimes certain parts adopt opposing positions, generating internal conflicts.
One manager may demand perfection while another part longs for rest.
A firefighter may seek escape through distraction while a manager imposes discipline and control.
These polarizations trap us in repetitive patterns, leaving us stuck between two extremes.
De-merging: creating space for the Self
When we are merged with a part, we feel as though it defines who we are entirely:
"I am anxious," "I am angry."
In IFS, we learn to defuse: to observe the part, take a step back, and recognize that it is just one voice among many.
Each time a part is listened to and acknowledged with compassion, it relaxes—leaving more space for the Self to emerge.
The Self: our inner leader
At the heart of every person, beyond all the parts, lies the Self.
It is neither damaged nor lost. It is the source of calm, clarity, compassion, and creativity.
Many have already glimpsed it in rare moments of deep peace, flow, or total presence—those moments when we feel fully aligned and whole.
In IFS, healing occurs when the Self naturally regains leadership.
When the parts feel truly heard, they trust the Self and step back. They don't disappear; they adopt healthier, more balanced roles.
Over time, what seemed like inner chaos becomes an integrated system, guided by the Self.
Why it matters—especially for leaders
For leaders, understanding their inner parts is not just personal work—it is highly operational.
Releasing energy: when protective parts are heard, the Self can guide with greater clarity, calmness, and focus.
Strengthen resilience: instead of reacting from a place of stress or fear, respond from a place of alignment.
Improving relationships: Recognizing that others are also expressing themselves from their own perspective helps you remain stable when emotions run high and paves the way for more constructive dialogue.
👉 This shift from reacting to someone tolistening to them is a key leadership skill—one that we will explore in more depth in a future article.
Video in English.
