All parts are beautiful, even those we reject.
IFS Concept - There are no "bad" shares
We all have behaviors we don't like: procrastinating, avoiding conflict, working too much, overreacting.
Our natural reflex is to label them as "bad" and try to fight them through discipline, control, or self-criticism.
But the Inner Family System (IFS), developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, invites us to radically change our perspective: there are no bad parts.
Even the behaviors we reject are driven by parts of our psyche that seek, in their own way, to protect us.
"No bad part": the founding intuition
The perfectionist part may believe that it protects us from rejection.
The avoidant part may try to protect us from being overwhelmed or overloaded.
The inner critic can push us to succeed in order to avoid shame or humiliation.
In other words: every share has a positive intention, even if its strategy is currently unsuitable or costly.
This is the core of Schwartz's insight:
healing does not begin when we fight against our parts, but when we recognize their protective role.
Making the concept accessible: Dr. Tori Olds' perspective
Psychologist Tori Olds explains this principle very clearly in her educational videos.
She shows that behaviors we dislike are not flaws to be eliminated, but adaptive strategies that our brains encoded at some point to ensure our safety.
In her video "No Bad Parts, " she points out that when we stop judging these responses and approach them with curiosity, we create a climate of inner safety. It is precisely this climate that allows the parts to relax... and evolve.
This is confirmed by neuroscience.
Data from neuroscience points in the same direction:
judgment, pressure, and suppression activate the brain's threat circuits,
while respect, recognition, and compassion promote internal states where change becomes possible.
In other words, sustainable transformation does not arise from struggle, but from relationship.
👉 For a clear and engaging explanation, you can watch Dr. Tori Olds' video on the "No Bad Parts" concept in English.
The neuroscience challenge
Neuroscience both supports and qualifies this view:
Support: Patterns are stored in the basal ganglia and reinforced by the reward system because, at some point, they worked for us. Respecting intention aligns with how the brain conserves what once kept us safe.
Challenge: Simply recognizing the good intention doesn’t rewire the brain on its own. For true transformation, old emotional learnings must be reactivated and paired with a new, contradictory experience of safety. This is the process of memory reconsolidation.
So while “No Bad Parts” gives us the mindset of respect, neuroscience adds: real rewiring requires activating the old pattern in a safe state and introducing new experience that disconfirms the old belief (through the SELF in IFS).
Why respecting intention works
When we honor the protective purpose of a part instead of fighting it:
Safety increases – The nervous system moves out of threat mode, re-engaging the prefrontal cortex.
Resistance softens – A part that feels understood doesn't need to fight harder for control.
Change becomes possible – The old belief ("I must always stay in control") meets a new experience ("I can be safe even if I let go"). That mismatch is the spark for reconsolidation.
A practical way to begin
Next time you notice a behavior you dislike:
Pause the judgment – Instead of “this is bad,” say: “I notice a part of me doing this.”
Ask about intention – “What are you trying to protect me from? What do you hope for me?”
Acknowledge – Thank the part for its protective role.
Offer an alternative – Suggest gently: “Maybe there’s another way we can stay safe without this pattern.”
This shift from resistance to respect creates the neural conditions for change.
The bigger picture
“There are no bad parts.” Schwartz’s insight, reinforced by neuroscience and explained accessibly by Dr. Tori Olds, gives us a powerful frame: the parts that drive behaviors we dislike are not enemies—they are protectors waiting for a safer strategy.
By respecting their intention, we stop the inner battle and create the conditions for real transformation.
If reading this makes you wonder what it could look like in your own leadership or life journey, feel free to contact me.
